Do You Like You?

January 26, 2015 / ktbuchs87

I was listening to the radio the other day and Colbie Caillat’s song Try came on. If you haven’t heard it yet give it a listen:

I’ve heard this song before and I really love the whole message of the song. This time as I was listening though, one line really struck me.

Do you like you?

It’s a really simple question. Although it is a simple question, I don’t think many of us spend that much time thinking about it. We often get caught up in worrying about what everyone else thinks about us that we never stop to see if we like ourselves.

It’s kind of backwards though, shouldn’t we worry more about what we think about ourselves more than what people we don’t know think? Shouldn’t we be working to constantly improve for ourselves and not the random stranger we pass on the street? I know we’re always told to not try and impress others, but do we really take that advice to heart?

I know for me that sometimes I can get so caught up in trying to please others. I want people to like me and think that I’m a good person, it’s natural to want to be liked. But it shouldn’t come at the expense of what I think about me. I’ve been with me for 27 years and hopefully I will be spending many more years with me. I want to make sure that I am the best me possible for me not just others.

And I’m not just talking about how I look. Yes, I think that it is important to eat well and move more but it isn’t everything. If someone judges you by your looks then to be honest you don’t really need to keep those people in your life. You should want to be healthier for you because it makes you feel better, because it will add years to your life, because it is what YOU want to do. Not what others say you should do.

Instead of doing things to make other people like you, try doing things that make you like you. At the end of the day if you ask yourself do you like you, you can say yes.

When To Take A Break

January 19, 2015 / ktbuchs87

I have tried a variety of diets over the years. The fad diets would lure me in with their promises of fast weight loss and happiness and I would commit with a gung-ho attitude. I stick with the program and did what I was suppose to do and most of the time was met with moderate success. But there would always come that point in my diet where I would take a break.

I would have lost a few pounds, I would feel better about my body and therefore myself and I felt like I could get back to life as regularly scheduled. The diet had done what it was suppose to do and I could move on. I never viewed these diets as lifestyle changes and that is what helped perpetuate the cycle of losing and gaining weight.

There finally came a point where I realized that I couldn’t just change my life for a few weeks and then take a break while I went back to my old lifestyle. I had to make a lasting change that would go on forever. It sounded daunting, but I knew that I needed to take a big step if I wanted to be healthier and finally enjoy life to the fullest. So I flipped a switch in my brain from diet to lifestyle change and got on the path to a healthier me.

And it worked. While it was really tough at first to think that I would never be able to go back to what I used to eat if I wanted to keep moving forward, I fought my way through and got lasting and healthy results. I wasn’t taking a break this time. I was all in and I was never going to change. But weirdly, that kind of got me into trouble again.

I had committed so much to being the healthiest me possible that I scared myself from straying at all. I couldn’t miss a workout, I couldn’t overeat, I couldn’t choose the wrong food or everything would come crashing down around me. That switch that I had flipped got stuck in the opposite direction and now I was worried about failing and returning to the unhappy person I was before.

It was an important lesson that I had to learn to be able to move on. I couldn’t view the way I ate and exercised as a temporary change but I also couldn’t be so afraid to stray that I was rigid in every aspect of life. I had to learn to be flexible and trust myself to do what my body needed at the right time. So how do you know when you reach a happy medium?

By trusting yourself.

When you first start, it’s going to be hard. You’re going to want to eat like a million Big Macs and you’re going to want to sit on the couch rather than do a 30 minute workout. It’s really hard to let yourself take a break at this point because it will be so easy to slip back into your old habits. Once you start to realize that all your old habits have been replaced with new and healthier ones it’s a little bit easier to see where you have wiggle room.

While I don’t personally believe in having a “cheat” day or meal (it just doesn’t work for me), it’s ok to know that one meal is not going to destroy what you have worked for. If you notice that your body is sore and achy and the thought of heading to the gym for your workout makes you want to cry, then it’s ok to take a rest day. That’s your body’s way of saying, “Hey, I need a break here!” That’s ok, rest days are good. Enjoying life is good. Being flexible and able to adjust to the situation is good.

It takes a little bit of practice to find the right balance for you and your body. Be kind to yourself as you discover what works for you and what doesn’t. Remember, it’s what you decide to most of the time that is going to impact your overall health not the tiny slip ups every now and then.

Monday Musings: Cookie Cutter Bodies

December 8, 2014 / ktbuchs87

I haven’t done a Monday Musing in awhile, so I thought I would bring that back. Sadly while the title of this post has the word cookie in it, there are no cookies. I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you soon I promise. On with my musing.

Most of us want to be thought of as unique. We want to be seen as individuals and to have no one else like us. In general, I would say that these feelings are fostered in schools, at work, and in our daily lives. We are praised for being us and told that there is not another out there just like us. You think to yourself, “I am me and no one can be me like I can.” That all stops though when it comes to our bodies. Suddenly we want to have that person’s abs, that one’s buns of steel, and those eyes and hair.

You have probably thought of your dream body a lot. I know I have. I used to pour over magazines and watch movies and yearn for the perfect bodies that those people all seemingly had. Why couldn’t my body look just like theirs? I wasn’t happy having my own body looking the way I do because it seemed like everyone else looked a different way. How many of you have done that?

I know that there are so many of us who constantly pick apart our bodies and wish to wake up with the body of a goddess. I know that many of us work tirelessly to make that dream body come true, hoping if that we finally look like everyone else we will finally be happy. I know many of us just want our bodies to blend in with the general population instead of sticking out like a sore thumb. I have been there and I have felt those emotions time and time again. It took me a long time to be able to start to accept my body for what it was instead of what it wasn’t.

I think that it’s time that we start valuing our bodies like we value our individuality. We don’t NEED to look like everyone else, in fact unless you are an identical twin it is impossible to look like someone else. That is ok. No, that is great. Just like you want your thoughts, ideas, personality, and talents to be special, you should want your body to be special. It isn’t perfect, but guess what? No one has the perfect body and that is a beautiful thing.

For those of you caught in the dark thoughts of poor body image, I know that you have heard these words before. Love yourself, you’re special, no one can be like you. Those phrases bounce off you and make no impact. They all sound like ways to say you’re not beautiful but there are other things about you that you should be happy about. You might not have the legs of a model, but you’re hilarious. You don’t have long flowing hair, but you can sing like an angel. Don’t focus on your lack of a six-pack, you’re the next Mozart on the piano. Those are all good things to be, but when you look in the mirror and aren’t happy with what you see, those things don’t really matter.

Here’s the thing: you don’t have to look like anyone else! All you have to do is look like you. Stop trying to come up with a way to look like the girl next to you at the gym. Instead come up with ways to be proud of the body you possess. It can do so much and it deserves a little TLC. I know from experience that when you start to love what you have, your outlook becomes more positive. You may never have rippling arms, but you have arms and they are pretty great.

I know this has been a long musing, but I can’t stress enough how important it is that we start loving our special bodies and stop trying to become clones of each other. Start today by being thankful for the body you have and tell yourself that you are special and unique and there is NO ONE out there who has what you have. Be proud of that. Own it. You are you and that is awesome.

Just A Thought

October 27, 2014 / ktbuchs87

I had a great weekend spending time with my in-laws, watching marching bands, and celebrating my upcoming birthday. It was nice to relax with my family and spend time together.

With all of my relaxing this weekend (there may have been a few glasses of wine), I don’t have a very long post for you today but I do have a thought. I have noticed that with all the social media out there, we have become people who are constantly comparing. I didn’t realize how much it was affecting me until I would find myself looking at pictures on Instagram and comparing my life to them. I didn’t just compare my health or body or food but my clothes, my apartment, essentially my life. Somehow there was always someone who had something bigger or better or seemingly more perfect. My life just didn’t seem to meet their standards and it was making me grumpy. I took a step back and realized how silly it is to want my life to meet OTHER people’s standards.

How often do you try and compare yourself to others, fall short, and then feel inadequate? Probably more than you know. It’s impossible to totally isolate yourself from social media, but even if you could there are still opportunities to compare. There will always be other people who seem to have everything in life and you wish you could be just like them, but that will never make you happy. You will end up always reaching for things and never have time to enjoy all the great things you already have. I stopped caring what my life looked like next to the person standing next to me and what do you know, I’m a lot happier. My life is amazing and it’s my life so the only person that needs to set the standard is me. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing, as long as I’m achieving my goals and satisfied with things, it’s all good. Take one day to stop comparing and see how much better your life and all the things you do really are. Because you are a very awesome person.

Have a great Monday!

Your Words

October 14, 2014 / ktbuchs87 / 1 Comment

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. We’ve all heard it, we all try to believe it, but if we’re really honest with ourselves, we know it isn’t true. Words can hurt. Once you say something, it’s out there forever and you can’t take it back no matter how hard you try. You can try to let words bounce off of you and pretend that they have no effect, but after awhile they can start to wear away at you. Your strong exterior starts to crack and hurtful words seems to slip right through those chinks in your armor. For some, it might feel like the sticks and stones would be better than the words. We can’t control what other people will say about or to us, but we do have the power to control our own words.

Today’s post isn’t a lecture about watching your words and being careful what you say. I want you to think about the words and things you say about yourself. When we talk about words, it’s often in regards to what you’re saying about those around you. We don’t spend much time thinking about the words we use to describe ourselves. We don’t think about the things that we say to ourselves day in and day out and we really don’t think about the consequences of those words. Take a moment, what are the words you use about yourself?

Lazy. Self-conscious. Nonathletic. Over-eater. No willpower. Failure. Those were words that I often used in the lowest moments to describe myself. I was always negative and had a hard time seeing any positive when it felt like I had failed for the millionth time. High school was a rough time for me self image wise and in my quest to try and be like everyone else I constantly put myself down. I was my own worst enemy because by using all those negative words I was only hurting myself. How could I succeed when I couldn’t even talk well about myself? While my self-esteem got better as I got older, I would still find myself talking negatively to myself. If I felt tired during a workout, it was because I was being lazy and unmotivated. If I ate something I deemed bad, it was because I had no willpower. I failed to see all the good things that I was doing. Sure, I could fake being proud of myself sometimes but there was always something I could be doing better at and I zeroed in on the negative. I had trained my brain to only talk trash about my body.

Sound familiar? Like I said, words can hurt, especially the words we say to ourselves. With each jab and insult we say to ourselves, we’re only hindering our progress. Maybe you believe that you need to be tough on yourself or else you won’t see any results. I fully believe that there are times that we need to push ourselves but it should never be at the sake of talking smack. You wouldn’t call your best friends a loser for missing a workout, why in the world would you use that same word for yourself? Words are powerful and we need to start using them to our advantage. If you call yourself strong, you have a much better chance of feeling stronger and getting stronger. If you call yourself motivated, you can bet you are going to feel more motivated.

The words that come out of your mouth can either pick you up or bring you down. Stop beating yourself up with your words, it’s unacceptable. We all have flaws and more often than not we are very aware of what those flaws are. There is no need to constantly voice your problems to yourself over and over again because it will get you no where. You will just feel worse than before and are more likely to give up. If you can’t even talk nice to yourself, what’s the point. You deserve to be talked highly of and you are worthy of good words. Will you always be perfect and feel worthy of those words? No, but it’s in those times of struggle that you need those uplifting words the most. Today, start letting positive words enter your vocabulary. Use your powerful words to make yourself better and to keep moving you forward. Be your biggest cheerleader and watch how your outlook and life can change.