support

A Culture Of Shame

/ ktbuchs87 / 1 Comment

Body-shaming

Fat-shaming

Food-shaming

Kid-shaming

Shame-Shaming

We are living in a culture of all kinds of shame.  If there is something out there, I bet there is some form of shame attached to it.  I don’t want to start your Monday off on a downer, but I feel like this is something I want to address.

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Social media is a great and terrible thing.

I love being able to share my life and thoughts with you through my blog, Instagram, and Facebook.  It’s an amazing way to be able to connect with people I never would have been able to before.  It let’s me help you with your healthy journey by sharing my own health experiences.  I can also share the funny and goofy and adorable things that go on in my life, mostly involving Olaf my cat.  It’s great.

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But there is a dark side to social media.  The thought that is always in the back of my mind before I post something.  Is this good enough?  Is this relevant?  Is this offensive?  Is this going to open me up to criticism?  I see all this shaming going on and it affects what I decide to put up or not.  Because of my past struggles with self-esteem and body image issues, I’m always slightly nervous when I put a piece of me out there.  The minute I hit publish or send that image or thought or post is no longer mine, it’s the world.  It’s terrifying.

I wish we could live in a culture of unwavering support instead of one of shame.  So many amazing and strong people are constantly bashed for the way they look or the things we do.  Someone posts a before and after picture of their weight loss transform and the comments start flowing in of how they’ve lost too much weight or they looked better before or they still have a long way to go to have the perfect body.  Someone tweets the dessert they enjoyed on their birthday and suddenly they’re bombarded with comments from the health nazis.

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I posted this video from Blogilates creator, Cassey.  If you haven’t seen it, please watch it because I believe it really shows what it’s like to put yourself out there and try to help others but be brought crashing down by all the shaming and negativity out there.

I can’t fix this problem with one post.  I can draw awareness to it though, and maybe cause you to think about what you are saying to people.  Is the comment you’re about to post one of support or judgement?  Are you encouraging the people around you who are doing their best and accomplishing amazing things?  Or are you contributing to this culture of shame?

One positive comment can do a lot to help drown out the noise of negative comments.  Today offer support instead of shame and help change the way we share with the world.

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All In The Family

/ ktbuchs87

One of the biggest things that has helped me as I’ve started this blog and continued with my healthy lifestyle is the support of my family.  My husband, Adam, has been one of the biggest driving forces.  He has pushed me to do more, think bigger, and to truly believe in myself and this blog.  I wouldn’t have tried some of things or expanded this blog without his support.

ubuntusoulphoto@gmail.com

Photo courtesy of Jodie Buchanan

My parents have also given me a lot of support.  They ask me for tips, try my recipes, share my blog posts, and again believe in me to do more than I think I can.  They have always been this way with whatever endeavors I pursue.

ubuntusoulphoto@gmail.com

Photo courtesy of Jodie Buchanan

The other person who is without a doubt one of my biggest supporters is my little sister, Jodie.  I can honestly say that from the time she was born she has always been behind whatever I do 100%.  At times, I ignored that support (stupidly) and didn’t realize how much it meant to me and what I do.  As I have gotten older I have learned how valuable she is to what I do.  I know that no matter what I have her there by me urging me to do more and be better and helping me when I fall.  She is amazing and I am blessed to have her as my sister.

ubuntusoulphoto@gmail.com

Photo courtesy of Jodie Buchanan

That’s why I am thrilled to support her in her dreams and goals.

ubuntusoulphoto@gmail.com

Photo courtesy of Jodie Buchanan

Today I wanted to share one of her new pursuits and urge you to take advantage of her amazing talents.  Besides being an awesome social worker, Jo has always been interested in photography.  She has always liked to take pictures and stage photoshoots, even as a kid.  She’s done a few amateur photoshoots like engagement pictures and family photos, and she is looking to expand and start doing more photography.

ubuntusoulphoto@gmail.com

Photo courtesy of Jodie Buchanan

Last week she came out to Sycamore and took some pictures of me prepping and cooking as well as some headshots.  They are awesome and I will be using these on the blog and my other social media sites.  She is just starting out, but she does great work and is eager to learn more.  If you are interested in getting some photos taken, for graduation, engagements, professional headshots, family portraits, or anything else and are looking for a great price and a fun person to work with, contact Jodie.  You can email her at ubuntusoulphoto@gmail.com for more information and to set up a shoot.

ubuntusoulphoto@gmail.com

Photo courtesy of Jodie Buchanan

Support is one of the most important things when you are starting something new.  Whether that is becoming healthier, starting a new business, or diving into a new goal.  Having people behind you to push you forward, pick you up, and keep you going can make all the difference. If you have amazing support, make sure that you are paying it forward and supporting the people in your life.  You never know when you might be the only one keeping that person going.

Who is your biggest supporter?

ubuntusoulphoto@gmail.com

Photo courtesy of Jodie Buchanan

How To Offer Support

/ ktbuchs87 / 1 Comment

giving supportI often talk about how I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without the support of my family and friends.  It is especially helpful to have a great support system when you decided to be healthier.  It’s good to have people around you who will keep you accountable, pick you up when you fall down, and offer encouragement when you want to quit.  I’m sure most of you can think of one person who is always there for you and ready to help no matter what.  Here is my question for the day, do you give support back?  As great as it is to receive support, it’s just as important to give support to others.  Here are some good ways to give support to others who want to be healthier, as well as a few things NOT to do.

Don’t force it

Giving support is great, but sometimes it’s unwanted.  Have you ever been working out at the gym and a stranger comes up to give you tips or tell you what you’re doing wrong?  I’m sure they think that they are helping, but most of the time it’s just annoying and you want them to leave ASAP.  Don’t be that person when being supportive.  You might think that you are helping, but if the person really doesn’t want your support you’re just being annoying.  Don’t force support onto anyone who clearly doesn’t want it.

Be gentle

You don’t need to be the crazy coach screaming in someones face trying to motivate them to be better.  Sometimes it’s better to be the calm and gentle anchor for someone.  When people decide to be healthier, many times their lives and routines are thrown into chaos.  Suddenly they are eating a different way, exercising perhaps for the first time ever, and things can seem crazy.  The last thing they need right at the beginning is a crazy friend yelling at them and telling them they are going to be unhealthy forever if they quit.  Lend a listening ear when they have their struggles, offer advice if you have it, and reassure them that they can do this.  These methods will work much better and actually help.

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Know your audience

On the flip side of this, some of us work better with the tough love approach.  We’re all different and different things work better to support us.  Find out the best way to offer your support.  I recently found out that my husband likes when I push him when we workout together, so make sure you know the best way to help.

Don’t make it just about you

This is one that I have to watch out for.  Because I have gone through my own journey to get healthier, it is so easy to turn everything around and say how I did things.  While it’s good to be able to give support and advice based on our own experiences, realize that this is about the other person not you.  They are going through their own unique experiences, and while it might be similar to yours respect their journeys.  If you find yourself starting every sentence with, “Well when I was doing…”, try to work on finding out how they’re going about things and offering advice when warranted.

Build them up

Probably the biggest thing you can do is to build others up.  Eating better and exercising more and improving your health is hard and can have a tendency to break people down.  There will be days that you just don’t want to do this anymore and those are the days that having a great support system really helps.  When someone comes to you ready to throw in the towel, help show them how far they have come and all that they have accomplished.  Tell them how proud you are that they have chosen to take better care of themselves.  Motivate them to keep going and do what you can to help them pick themselves back up.

I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today without support from other people.  I want to be able to help others the way that I have been helped and offering support is a kind of a way to pay it forward.  Because I have gotten such great support I know how crucial it is to succeeding, so do what you can to help be that important influence in someone else’s life.

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Sorry for not having a post on Monday, but I spent the whole weekend in bed with a fever and just general miserableness.  I hope that you guys had better weekend and are staying warm with this early blast of winter.  I will see you guys on Friday!