I have been mulling this post over in my head for awhile now. I guess it’s been at the back of my thoughts for at least a few months, but I kept pushing it away. I didn’t want to deal with it and ignoring things always makes them go away, right?
If only it did.
So last week when I wrote about my theme for 2016, I knew that I would finally have to deal with this issue. If I really want to grow and mature I have to actually grow and mature. Profound thoughts guys, I know. But for me, it was kind of profound.
I’m not dying, in fact, no one is dying. No one is sick, nothing is horribly or awfully wrong. So don’t worry about that. But there is a big change coming for me and I’m a little nervous. I’m putting on my big girl panties and telling myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
I’m taking a break from running.
All of you reading this are probably cursing me because who cares if I’m taking a break from running? It doesn’t affect the vast majority of people and this isn’t a life-altering announcement. Except that it is. For me.
You have heard me rave about running and how it has given me so much. I am proud to call myself a runner and join the ranks of thousands who log their miles with their feet. I have talked about finally running a marathon, I love watching races, and I love getting outside and hitting the trail.
Until a few months ago that is. Lately, I have been struggling with my running. Instead of waking up excited to head out for my run, I’m dreading it. I find myself dawdling longer and longer before finally motivating myself to get out the door. At first, I thought it was just a down week. All runners have them. Those days or weeks where it’s just a little tougher to get out the door than usual. I thought it would pass, I would get back to my usual enthusiasm soon enough. But that enthusiasm hasn’t returned.
My immediate reaction was to just push through. I’m a runner. This is what I do. This is what I have done for the past eight years. This is how it is. I was just going to keep running and ignore that little voice in the back of my mind that was telling me something just isn’t quite right. And then Adam got a cold right before the new year.
He took a week off from running because he is much better at resting when he knows he needs it most. And because he likes to take any excuse to not run :). I still kept up with my normal running schedule, but I started to sleep in a little with him and go on my run later in the morning. Then I started to get the sniffles on my rest day and when I woke up on Monday, I did not feel like running. Even more than I had in the past few months. So I did something that I rarely if ever do: I decided not to run.
It was a little tough at first and I found a different workout to do inside just so I had some movement. But it wasn’t horrible and I found myself feeling ok about my decision. As it stands right now, I haven’t run in over a week. That’s the longest I’ve gone since I hurt my knee a few years ago. And I’m going to keep not running for the foreseeable future.
Am I giving up running completely? No. I am eternally grateful for everything that running has given me. It totally changed me inside and out and that is truly amazing. It’s because of that that I’m taking this hiatus. I don’t want to keep running until I totally hate it and I give it up for good. I want to find that feeling that I used to have and in order to do that I have to let go.
I’m also not giving up exercise altogether. This decision is opening doors for me to explore other areas of fitness that I had previously neglected. I’ve been doing Fitness Blender’s 5-Day Fit Challenge and I have been excited for every new day. I’ve missed that excitement when it comes to working out.
So what can you take away from this really long winded post? Just because something scares you or you’ve been doing something for years doesn’t mean you can’t change. You are not a tree. If you don’t like something get up and move. Switch directions. Try a new approach. I have no idea what my relationship with running will look like in the coming months but it will always be there, waiting for me.
Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?