reaching goals

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a math lesson. Trust me, you don’t want me teaching you math. Anyone who knows me will back me up on this one (right, Mom?).

No, this is going to be a comparison of two different mindsets when it comes to living a healthier life. I find that there are two approaches to changing bad habits, the subtraction approach and the addition approach. I’ve actually taken both approaches myself and in my experience find one is definitely better than the other. Because I want you to be successful in living a healthier life, I wanted to share the tiny difference between these approaches that can make a huge impact on your success.

The Subtraction Approach

I am going to be healthier by taking away all of the bad things in my life.

This is a common way to look at things, and technically it’s what you want to do. In with the good out with the bad, right?

Almost. This immediately sets up a feeling of deprivation and an “I can’t have/do that anymore.” It makes you feel like you’re losing a part of what was your daily routine and that can make you feel a little uncomfortable and maybe even sad.

You keep trying to tell yourself that it’s good, you’re getting rid of what made you unhealthy. You’ll be happier once this process is over. So, you start subtracting:

The “bad” food you used to eat
The lazy habits you had formed
The time you used to sit around instead of exercise
The social settings where you maybe weren’t the healthiest
The friends or family who don’t fully support you

You might start to see a change in your health doing this, of course. You might lose weight, start to develop a regular exercise routine, but it still feels like you’re depriving yourself of things that once made you happy. Even if they weren’t good for you. You can start to pine for the way things were, especially since they are “off-limits” now. Subtraction Vs. Addition | Life Healthfully Lived

And this can set you up for the relapse. A night of binging. A week of no exercise. Cheat meals/snacks/days. You know you’re being “bad” but you can’t seem to help yourself. And then you can’t help feeling guilty once it’s all over. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s no fun. Trust me, I’ve been there.

Let’s look at the other approach.

The Addition Approach

I am going to be healthier by adding good things into my life to crowd out the bad.

This might seem counterintuitive. You want to put more stuff into my life so that I’m healthier? How can I do that when most people/diets/health systems tell me I need to get rid of the bad?

It’s simple. Start thinking of things to add to your day that make you feel better than your older habits. You’re going to crowd out all the things that you used to do or eat so that you no longer have time or energy for those. Subtraction Vs. Addition | Life Healthfully Lived

Now your days feel full and like you’re actively doing things to turn your habits around. You’re not taking anything away, you’re adding things like:

More fruits and vegetables to each serving, crowding out the overly processed
More activity in your day, life short walks, crowding out the time you used to sit around
More friends and family who like the same healthy things you do
More time focusing on what makes you feel good instead of what you used to do that was “bad”

At a glance, these two approaches might look similar. And to be honest, you’re doing a lot of the same things but by telling yourself that you’re adding to your life not subtracting from it makes it easier and more fun to keep making changes. Subtraction Vs. Addition | Life Healthfully Lived

It’s just a tiny switch, but it makes a big difference. I’m not forcing myself to get rid of my entire life, I’m adding to it and changing things for the better. As you go, soon you’ll realize that the good has overtaken the bad and your lifestyle is healthier and happier. Subtraction Vs. Addition | Life Healthfully Lived

So don’t focus on subtracting as much as you can to be healthier, add in as much good as you can and your health will follow suit.

What can you add to your life to be healthier?

Since we have moved to Chicago and Adam started working at Aon, I haven’t had a “real” job. It was a conscious decision on both our parts and it is working well for the moment. I knew with all this new found free time, I would need to make sure that I had things to keep me occupied and moving forward on my goals and dreams. It could have been so easy to just waste the day away and not do much at all, but I didn’t want to be complacent.

I think that the idea of moving forward and reaching goals can be applied to pretty much any area of life. Whether it be losing weight, completing a home project, getting a promotion at work, or getting into the college of your choice. I don’t have all the answers on how to achieve those goals but I do have a few tips on how to keep moving towards those goals. These are some things that I have used to help from keeping me sitting on the couch all day eating bon bons. Does anyone actually eat bon-bons all day?

Create a vision board

Have you ever heard of Pinterest? If you haven’t, it’s like a giant cork board on the internet You can save all the recipes, workouts, outfits, etc you find on the internet in one place. You can create different boards to sort all your pins. Having a visual representation is a great way to keep your goals at the front of your mind. You don’t have to use Pinterest (even though it’s awesome) you can just use a regular pinboard. Find images that embody your goal and hang them where you can see them everyday. You can add or subtract as you reach your goals or they change.

Tell someone

Share your goals with another person, preferably someone that you trust. It’s really helpful to have another person know exactly what you want to accomplish. That way you have someone that can support you and keep you accountable. Ask them to check in with you every once and awhile to see your progress. While you might think you’re really independent and can do everything on your own, it’s really important to have someone there to support your dreams. You will be much more likely to reach those goals with that little extra oomph.

Do something everyday

It doesn’t have to be a huge or monumental task but do something everyday to propel you towards your goal. If you want to lose weight, try keeping a food journal each day to see where you can make changes. If you want to write a book, try writing a chapter or paragraph everyday. Little steps like this will get you closer to your goal and before you know it you’ll be there. Also little steps can lead to bigger steps and you can reach your goal even faster. This is also another great way to keep yourself from stalling. If you actually do something you’ll feel more motivated to keep working hard.

Be kind to yourself

This one is tough for me. I often get down on myself for not reaching my goals sooner or I keep beating myself up for not doing more. Don’t worry if you aren’t going at the rate you think you should be. You will reach your goals at your own pace. Don’t compare yourself to others or give up because it isn’t happening as soon as you want. As long as you are continually working towards something, you don’t need to beat yourself up. Be kind and keep going.

Like I said, I don’t have all the answers and maybe these tips will not help you in any way at all, but give them a try. They might be a good starting point if you are at the beginning of your journey. No matter what you decide to do, start making decisions and steps to accomplish your dreams.