Monday Musings: Cookie Cutter Bodies

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I haven’t done a Monday Musing in awhile, so I thought I would bring that back.  Sadly while the title of this post has the word cookie in it, there are no cookies.  I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you soon I promise.  On with my musing.

Most of us want to be thought of as unique.  We want to be seen as individuals and to have no one else like us.  In general, I would say that these feelings are fostered in schools, at work, and in our daily lives.  We are praised for being us and told that there is not another out there just like us.  You think to yourself, “I am me and no one can be me like I can.”  That all stops though when it comes to our bodies.  Suddenly we want to have that person’s abs, that one’s buns of steel, and those eyes and hair.

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You have probably thought of your dream body a lot.  I know I have.  I used to pour over magazines and watch movies and yearn for the perfect bodies that those people all seemingly had.  Why couldn’t my body look just like theirs?  I wasn’t happy having my own body looking the way I do because it seemed like everyone else looked a different way.  How many of you have done that?

I know that there are so many of us who constantly pick apart our bodies and wish to wake up with the body of a goddess.  I know that many of us work tirelessly to make that dream body come true, hoping if that we finally look like everyone else we will finally be happy.  I know many of us just want our bodies to blend in with the general population instead of sticking out like a sore thumb.  I have been there and I have felt those emotions time and time again.  It took me a long time to be able to start to accept my body for what it was instead of what it wasn’t.

I think that it’s time that we start valuing our bodies like we value our individuality.  We don’t NEED to look like everyone else, in fact unless you are an identical twin it is impossible to look like someone else.  That is ok.  No, that is great.  Just like you want your thoughts, ideas, personality, and talents to be special, you should want your body to be special.  It isn’t perfect, but guess what?  No one has the perfect body and that is a beautiful thing.

For those of you caught in the dark thoughts of poor body image, I know that you have heard these words before.  Love yourself, you’re special, no one can be like you.  Those phrases bounce off you and make no impact.  They all sound like ways to say you’re not beautiful but there are other things about you that you should be happy about.  You might not have the legs of a model, but you’re hilarious.  You don’t have long flowing hair, but you can sing like an angel.  Don’t focus on your lack of a six-pack, you’re the next Mozart on the piano.  Those are all good things to be, but when you look in the mirror and aren’t happy with what you see, those things don’t really matter.

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Here’s the thing: you don’t have to look like anyone else!  All you have to do is look like you.  Stop trying to come up with a way to look like the girl next to you at the gym.  Instead come up with ways to be proud of the body you possess.  It can do so much and it deserves a little TLC.  I know from experience that when you start to love what you have, your outlook becomes more positive.  You may never have rippling arms, but you have arms and they are pretty great.

I know this has been a long musing, but I can’t stress enough how important it is that we start loving our special bodies and stop trying to become clones of each other.  Start today by being thankful for the body you have and tell yourself that you are special and unique and there is NO ONE out there who has what you have.  Be proud of that.  Own it.  You are you and that is awesome.

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Body Image

Body image.  I’ve written about it before and I will probably write about it again.  It is something that I know many people out there struggle with.  It is something that I struggle with daily.  If my own struggles and experience can help even one person, then I count that worth it.  That being said, if you don’t feel like reading another post about this topic that is totally fine.  Check back Wednesday and Friday for more healthy recipes and tips.  Otherwise, read on.

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I had done it.  I had made the decision to get healthier and I had stuck with it this time.  Things just clicked and I ate better, found exercise that I loved, and I lost weight.  Clothes started to fit better, I felt healthier and had more energy than I had before.  It was like a Cinderella story, if Cinderella was overweight and ate junk food and then magically changed.  I thought that because all of these things were happening, I would be happy.  I would finally feel like I looked like I should.  I would be self confident, I wouldn’t talk negatively about my body, and I would finally have a good body image.   I was wrong.  The magic Cinderella story didn’t happen like I thought it would.

I was shocked to realize that even though I had lost weight, I still had problems with my body image.  At the beginning, I had trouble matching the image in the mirror with what I saw in my head.  I was still the bigger girl in my mind and I just couldn’t see the new girl who had finally lost the weight.  Over time, I was able to finally see what was really there.  Through the help and support of friends and family, I realized that I looked different than I thought I did.  It also helped that I could wear smaller sizes and do things physically that I couldn’t before, like run a 5k race.  I started to feel better about the way I looked, and I was relieved that it felt like my body image issues were starting to get better.

Imagine my surprise now where I find myself struggling again.  It’s been about three years since I dealt with those first weight loss body image issues, but those challenges are starting to creep back into my life.  This time though it isn’t problems with matching my mirror image to my mental image.  I find myself playing the comparison game and I really hate that I’m doing that.  I tell others never to compare themselves to anyone else because they are their own unique selves.  No one is like you or can ever be like you so you should celebrate your awesome self.  And all the while I can say those things to others, I can’t seem to get myself to believe those sentiments.

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The thoughts and questions that run through my mind are so hypocritical of what I want others to think.  Shouldn’t I have six-pack abs with all the core exercises I do?  Why can that person eat more than me and still have muscles?  Am I eating too much?  Am I eating too little?  Am I not eating the right things?  Why can’t I do a full push-up without struggling the whole time?  Shouldn’t 5 miles feel like a breeze to me by now?  And on and on and on….  I feel like that insecure, high school girl, worried that everyone is staring at me and judging me, all over again.  Why am I doing this to myself?  Why do I have to go through this AGAIN?

Rather than sit here and wallow in my returning body image issues, I’m going to tackle them head on.  There are things that I can do to stop the comparing game and start being proud of myself.  I need to stop looking at all the Pinterest images and health magazine models with bodies that aren’t attainable to the majority of the population.  Nothing good ever comes from trying to compare myself to them and wonder why I can’t look like them.  I’m not them, I’m me and that is just fine.  I don’t have a six pack, but I can hold a plank for seven minutes and I know that my core is strong.  That’s good enough.  I can stop worrying about all the things I might not be doing perfectly for my health.  I am a human being and I will never be perfect.  That is good enough.  I won’t compare the way I eat or how much I eat to other people’s diets.  My body needs to be nourished in it’s own way and as long as I feel healthy and am getting adequate nutrition, I shouldn’t worry.  That is good enough.  I should be proud of all that I can do physically.  So what if I can’t clean and jerk an 85 pound barbell or run a marathon in 3 hours?  I can do a whole heck of a lot.  I should be grateful that I have a body that can do so much.  That is good enough.

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My overall message for this post is that I, and you, are good enough.  Yes, it’s tiring and a little frustrating that I still have to deal with body image issues.  I wish that I didn’t have to deal with them and that like the weight I lost, they would just go away.  But that’s not the reality of the situation.  The reality is I will continue to work on my self image and I will continue to try and help others do the same.  One day I know that I can get to the place of feeling totally comfortable in my beautiful skin.  Until I reach that point, I will continue being positive and working hard.  And that is good enough.

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