Picture Perfect

June 23, 2014 / ktbuchs87

One slip up and everything I’ve worked for is ruined.

How many of us have that mentality, especially when it comes to health? I know for a lot of people that it is all or nothing when it comes to eating better or exercising more. If you fall off the wagon just one time, the whole cart tips over. Ate a candy bar when you meant to eat an apple? Oh well, the whole day is ruined and you might as well continue with your downward, junk-eating spiral. You’ll have to start all over again next week. Missed one workout? Now you’ll have to sit on the couch and binge watch Netflix all weekend and start fresh on Monday.

Or maybe you’re like me and you’re so terrified of failing with your health and not being absolutely perfect that you essentially stop living life.

When I made the decision to start eating better, I knew that I would have to be super strict at first. I love food and I have the habit of eating even when I’m not hungry. I’m a bored eater and will put food in my mouth if it’s in front of me. Because of this, I had to relearn what real hunger felt like. I also had to retrain my tastebuds to eat real food instead of the processed food-like products I normally ate. This was all good and fine at first. By switching to a whole foods diet and tuning into the signals my body was giving me, I was able to finally see a lasting change in my health. But one vice got switched for another and soon I was striving for a food perfection that is nearly impossible to maintain.

I was so worried that if I slipped up with good eating habits, even just a little bit, all my hard work and progress would come crashing down. So I tried to keep myself in this tiny box where I could only eat the best foods possible. This inevitably cut me off from normal life because NO ONE eats like that day in and day out. Life is not perfect and you are not expected to be perfect. You are expected to live as healthfully as possible for you. You need to define what that means, because your healthy is different from everyone else’s. That’s a good thing and a balance you should strive for.

Deciding to be healthier is a major step. It’s important to actually take charge and make that commitment. It’s hard too, so don’t make it even harder on yourself by chasing perfection and closing yourself off from others. I’m learning each day to live as healthfully as possible, but to not be bogged down by worries of spiraling out of control. I’ve been eating well and exercising regularly for the past five years, and I haven’t suddenly gained all my weight back. Be conscious of your decisions, but don’t let one little slip-up determine the rest of your day, week, or month. Don’t let it totally derail your efforts. Use that slip up as a learning moment and move onto the next thing.

By taking your health one day at a time and not focusing on absolute perfection, you have a much better chance of sustaining your healthy journey.

Unique Opportunity

June 16, 2014 / ktbuchs87

Have you ever felt lost? I’m not talking, “I turned down the wrong street and now I have no idea where I am”, lost. Lost in life, wandering without a clue or perhaps a purpose. I’m sure we have all felt a little lost at some point in our lives. It’s totally normal to not know what to do or where to go at some juncture in your life.

I have been having that lost feeling since about my sophomore year of college. Sure, there have been periods of time within that span that I have thought I knew exactly where I was headed and what I was going to do. For the majority of that time though, I would have to say that I had no clue. I started college so sure that I was destined to be a band director. I loved music, I was good at it, I had always thrived in a band setting, and my own directors were amazing and influential figures in my life. I wanted to give what they gave to me to other kids and share that passion with them. I quickly realized that I was not totally cut out to be a band director. I am not good at leading large groups of people or having all eyes on me. After a short mini crisis/breakdown/cry on the phone to my parents, I decided to pursue music therapy. My college didn’t offer that degree specifically, but I “customized” my own by getting a BA in music and a minor in psychology. My intention was to then get a masters in music therapy. That never happened.

Once I graduated, I got engaged, then married. Adam went right from undergrad to graduate school and we decided it would be best for only one of to be in school at a time. As the years went by, my passion and desire to become a music therapist dwindled. I couldn’t see myself doing that day in and day out for the rest of my life. I also REALLY enjoyed not being in school and out in the “real” world.

During this period, I really started to focus on my health. I started a blog, not this one, which eventually turned into those one. I got my hands on any and everything health related and started to learn as much as I possibly could. I began to develop a passion for this and could begin to see a path for me to make this a career.

I’ve shared my goals with making health my job before on the blog, and those are still true. So fast forward to today. Adam is about to start his new job and we have moved to Chicago. We both agreed that while Adam worked we would start saving up money for me to become a health coach and start my own business. In the meantime, I would try to find a part time job to bring in a little extra cash. I figured I could do some freelance writing to bring in some money, and even got accepted into a writing “bootcamp” program that would help me learn the ins and outs as well as get published. This turned out to be an eye opener for me and caused me to panic (because I never overreact to anything….). I wasn’t cut out for deadlines, strict writing rules, and limited freedom. I started to feel lost again and like I was a failure like before with both music ed and music therapy.

Then Adam came to the rescue (I sure do love that man). When I told him my frustrations and concerns, he said that I had a really unique opportunity here that not many people get. I have the blessing of having someone who can support us financially (and mentally) while I pursue whatever I want. He help me realize that I needed to use this time to my advantage. That is exactly what I am going to do.

I am going to take this time to grow and expand this blog. Once Adam gave me his little pep talk, I immediately had ideas on how I wanted to spend my time. I got excited to take steps forward and really work towards my goals. I want to quick let you know about a few changes that will be happening here. First, and probably biggest, will be a new name and look to this page. I want to make this place inviting and user friendly, so a change is due. There will be better pictures, more posts, advice/tutorials to help my readers, and more of a presence online. Expect these changes to be rolling out soon, with an official “relaunch” of my blog coming this Friday. I can’t wait!

I know what it’s like to wander around aimlessly, wondering what it is you should be doing with your life. I have cried tears of failure, lack of purpose, and frustration. I have watched others who seem to have it all together and felt like I was doomed to be a bum with no calling. You might be going through that now, whether it’s with your health, life or something entirely different. I know that isn’t fun. Let me give you the courage and support Adam gave me. Find your unique opportunity and use it to your advantage. Take steps, even if they’re baby ones, towards your ultimate goals. Search for your passion and ignite it. Trust me, you will find your way and it will be all worth it.

How To Drive A Runner Crazy

June 9, 2014 / ktbuchs87

The number one way that you can drive a runner crazy is to tell them they can’t run. Then just sit back and watch the madness ensue. For the past month or so, I have not been able to run because of a knee injury. I thought that I should share this experience with you because I know that some of you may have dealt with this yourself. Or, although I really hope not, you might have to deal with it in the future. This has been a tough month, but I do think some good has come from me having to deal with this injury.

Towards the end of April, Adam and I were doing a workout together that included some running along with squats and pushups. During the running parts, I noticed a little twinge on the outside of my knee, but didn’t pay much attention to it because it wasn’t bothering or hindering me in any way. That changed near the end of the workout when I could barely run/walk because of the pain in my knee. I thought that I had just over worked myself that week and just needed a little rest/ice and my knee would be good to go. I have been extremely lucky in my time as a runner that I have had practically no serious injuries. So I rested all the next day and iced my knee and by Monday morning it felt better, so out I went for my run. About 3 minutes in, the pain was back full force and I had to hobble my way back home.

Thus began my time of not running. This was the first time in my whole running “career” that I had to stop running for longer than a few days. I immediately went into panic mode and jumped to the worst possible conclusions and thought, “What if I can never run again?” Yes, I can tend to be a little overdramatic. The first few days of not running, I was pretty miserable. To make matters worse, running was the ONLY thing that irritated my knee. I would do yoga, my crossfit like workouts, walk, ride my bike, and anything else you can think of and my knee would be fine. But start to put one foot in front of the other in a running motion, and I was down for the count. This was also right around the time that all the stress of our future move started to really pile up. All I wanted to do was go for a run but I couldn’t. I knew that I needed an outlet for all that pent up frustration, so I started to bike in the mornings.

I do not like biking. I still do not like biking. In fact I probably dislike it more now than I did before my injury. Biking just is not my thing. I like the idea of biking and I respect and appreciate all the people out there who love to bike. My husband is a biker, and I love to encourage him to bike more and do what he loves. But put me on two wheels and tell me to go, and I will make a face like a kid being told to eat a worm. You’re probably wondering two things at this point, 1. Why did she replace running with biking if she hates it and 2. Has she ever eaten a worm and is that why she used that analogy? To answer the second question, no I have never eaten a worm, don’t worry. To answer the second, it’s a little complicated.

The simple, quick answer is because I thought I had to ride my bike if I wasn’t running. The more complicated, and more honest answer, is I was afraid. Running has become my therapy. It was one of the catalysts for finally taking charge of my health and changing and I have fallen in love with it. Running had always been there and it had always helped me, even if I didn’t think I needed help. Now it was gone and I was afraid of what would happen to me. I was afraid that I would lose ground in my overall health and fitness. I was afraid that if I stopped running I would never run again. I was afraid that I would somehow turn into the old me before I decided to change my life and become healthier. I didn’t want to wake up one morning and look in the mirror and see the unhealthy girl that was never totally confident about herself staring back at me. I thought that without running I would immediately lose all I had gained as well as gain all that I had lost.

As this month has gone by, I can tell you that none of my fears have come true. Once I stopped pouting about not being able to run and came to terms with that fact that if I wanted to get totally better I had to stop running, I realized that I could do this. Being a runner isn’t the only thing that makes me me. Running isn’t the only thing that has made me healthier these past few years. It’s funny, but once I took away running, I was able to see all of the other areas of my life that I am really good at and that promote my overall health. I am pretty decent at yoga, and poses that I always thought were out of my reach actually come quite naturally when I focus and concentrate on my form. I am strong. I can do squats for days, and I am almost to being able to crank out a good number of full pushups, something I have struggled with for a long time. I am fairly good at coming up with creative ways to use the foods I eat on a regular basis. I am getting better at using the ingredients I have on hand to make delicious and healthy meals. While to a certain extent I have always been confident in the kitchen, I have become even more so and I am also more confident in doing my own thing and not always following a recipe to the T.

Without running, I would never have discovered or paid much attention to these other areas of my life and I would have missed out on the other great things that make me, me. But it’s time to bring running back. I miss it a lot. I miss the feel of the ground beneath my feet as I finally hit my stride. I miss the smell of the trees and grass as summer is making it’s way to the midwest. I miss the feeling of accomplishment and invincibility that follows a ten mile run. I even miss the it hurts so good sessions of foam rolling my IT band. This week I am going to start to slowly add running back to my life. I am still a little nervous that the pain will come back in the first few minutes of my run. I still have the irrational fear of never being able to run again. But I also have the newfound knowledge that just because I define myself as a runner, that isn’t the only thing that defines me.

Friday Fill-In

June 6, 2014 / ktbuchs87

Hello everyone!

I don’t have a recipe for you today, but I am working on creating some delicious summer recipe ideas for you. I have a chipotle sauce that is AMAZING, that I will be sharing with you soon… But more on that later!

Meet Olaf!

The big news in the Dawson household this week is the addition of a kitten to our family! One of the things that Adam promised me, was that once he got a job and we had a place that could have more than one animal, he would get me a kitten. So on Monday, he made good on his promise and we got a 2 month old orange tabby. He is energetic and playful and of course super adorable. After making a huge list of names, we finally narrowed it down to Olaf. Yes, it is partly after Olaf the snowman in the movie Frozen. It’s also a character in one of the video games that Adam plays. The name fits him perfectly, and as I pointed out he really does like warm hugs!

Hi! I’m Olaf! I like warm hugs and climbing up peoples legs!

Our other cat, Dot, is still a little hesitant about the furry ball of mischief that we have brought into her domain, but they are slowly getting to tolerate each other. Now if Olaf would just stop attacking her tail while she is eating, things would be amazing!

Olaf about to make a bad decision…

That’s all I have for today, but I will be back on Monday and I’ll talk about how I haven’t been able to run for the past month. Spoiler alert: I hate it. The whole experience has taught me some good lessons though, and hopefully you will be able to learn something from it. Have a great weekend and make sure to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather!

Maybe he’ll be a runner like mama…

Coming to You Live From Chicago!

June 2, 2014 / ktbuchs87

Hello from Chicago! My husband, Adam, and I are finally living in the Windy City. We moved into our apartment a little over a week ago and have settled in these past few days. We have really enjoyed getting to explore our new neighborhood and learn where everything is. Every morning we head out to the Chicago Lakefront Trail and ride up and down enjoying the beaches and parks all along the way. The city has so much to offer us and we are very excited to take full advantage.

This move was the most stressful move for me that we’ve ever done. All our other moves were of a smaller scale, as in we would just move down the street or at least within the same town. We didn’t have to rent a truck, figure out a new city, leave our job, or worry about where to run outside (ok, that last one is just me!). I admitted to Adam yesterday as we were walking around outside, that while I was ok with moving for his new job, I had been absolutely terrified to move to Chicago. I was afraid that I would hate everything about city living. All the people, cramped spaces, a smaller apartment, a grocery store I didn’t know, unfamiliar streets, higher cost on everything, and no concrete job position for me. I was truly worried that I was not made to live in a more urban area and that I would quickly isolate myself with my cat in my apartment. I knew in my head that moving here was the best decision for us, but I just couldn’t convince my heart that was true.

This wasn’t even totally full yet. Thank goodness Adam is a Tetris champ!

One of my biggest problems is that I tend to internalize my stress and worries instead of sharing them. I bottle up my feelings and soldier on because I feel like that is what I should do. No one needs to carry the burden of my problems other than me. Of course that is ridiculous. No one can keep all of their problems to themselves without breaking under the pressure at some point. By keeping all my worries to myself, I negatively impacted my health. I developed a cold a few days before our move and I am still getting over it. A few weeks before the move, my knee started to hurt so bad that I could no longer run on it. I still have not been able to run, and I am trying my hardest to rest and let it heal. During the actual move, I lost my appetite and didn’t eat the same healthy meals that I normally make and I also didn’t drink as much water as I normally do. All of these things added up to me feeling crummy and that is not how you want to feel when you have to move. I felt weak and could barely help Adam move and load our boxes. I felt exhausted during the day and wanted nothing more than to take long naps all day. Even my face started to break out. Health wise, I was pretty much a wreck.

Bedroom. Haven’t done much to this room other than put our stuff in it. We’ll get to it soon….

If you go back and read my other posts about moving, you’ll probably notice a similar theme. I start to stress, keep it to myself, and my health turns into a mess. Why can’t I seem to get my act together and why do I keep telling you about it? I am not perfect, far from it, in fact. Even though I enjoy being healthy and do my best to do all the things I know make me feel and look my best, I still fail from time to time. I know that many of you feel that becoming healthier is really hard and you get frustrated when you fail. I am the same way. I am slowly learning though that being healthy isn’t about being perfect 100% of the time.

It’s ok to fail or not do something as well as you had hoped. It isn’t how you fail that defines your health, it’s how you deal with the fallout. Rather than wallow in your shortcomings and quit, pick yourself up and get right back in the game. Use that experience to help shape your healthy journey in a positive way. Learn from your mistakes and when the same obstacle arises next time you will be able to overcome it. I am getting better at being ok with my imperfections and knowing that my overall health is more important that the tiny little things I do everyday. As long as you are working towards being healthy and the majority of your choices and decisions are good ones, I promise you that your health will be just fine. One setback every now and then is not going to totally derail all the hard work you have done.

Tiny kitchen, but I make it work!

While I am hoping that I won’t have to move for a long time (I would love to live in an apartment for more than one leasing period!), I know that this move has taught me so much for the next one. I am also happy to say that I absolutely LOVE living in Chicago. All my fears and doubts are gone and I am relishing living in a new area. It is exactly what Adam and I needed to continue to grow in our lives and in our relationship. We had gotten all that we could from our previous area and it was time to move on. Now big things are in store for the next chapter of our life and I can not wait to get started!