Body Image

September 8, 2014 / ktbuchs87

Body image. I’ve written about it before and I will probably write about it again. It is something that I know many people out there struggle with. It is something that I struggle with daily. If my own struggles and experience can help even one person, then I count that worth it. That being said, if you don’t feel like reading another post about this topic that is totally fine. Check back Wednesday and Friday for more healthy recipes and tips. Otherwise, read on.

I had done it. I had made the decision to get healthier and I had stuck with it this time. Things just clicked and I ate better, found exercise that I loved, and I lost weight. Clothes started to fit better, I felt healthier and had more energy than I had before. It was like a Cinderella story, if Cinderella was overweight and ate junk food and then magically changed. I thought that because all of these things were happening, I would be happy. I would finally feel like I looked like I should. I would be self confident, I wouldn’t talk negatively about my body, and I would finally have a good body image. I was wrong. The magic Cinderella story didn’t happen like I thought it would.

I was shocked to realize that even though I had lost weight, I still had problems with my body image. At the beginning, I had trouble matching the image in the mirror with what I saw in my head. I was still the bigger girl in my mind and I just couldn’t see the new girl who had finally lost the weight. Over time, I was able to finally see what was really there. Through the help and support of friends and family, I realized that I looked different than I thought I did. It also helped that I could wear smaller sizes and do things physically that I couldn’t before, like run a 5k race. I started to feel better about the way I looked, and I was relieved that it felt like my body image issues were starting to get better.

Imagine my surprise now where I find myself struggling again. It’s been about three years since I dealt with those first weight loss body image issues, but those challenges are starting to creep back into my life. This time though it isn’t problems with matching my mirror image to my mental image. I find myself playing the comparison game and I really hate that I’m doing that. I tell others never to compare themselves to anyone else because they are their own unique selves. No one is like you or can ever be like you so you should celebrate your awesome self. And all the while I can say those things to others, I can’t seem to get myself to believe those sentiments.

The thoughts and questions that run through my mind are so hypocritical of what I want others to think. Shouldn’t I have six-pack abs with all the core exercises I do? Why can that person eat more than me and still have muscles? Am I eating too much? Am I eating too little? Am I not eating the right things? Why can’t I do a full push-up without struggling the whole time? Shouldn’t 5 miles feel like a breeze to me by now? And on and on and on…. I feel like that insecure, high school girl, worried that everyone is staring at me and judging me, all over again. Why am I doing this to myself? Why do I have to go through this AGAIN?

Rather than sit here and wallow in my returning body image issues, I’m going to tackle them head on. There are things that I can do to stop the comparing game and start being proud of myself. I need to stop looking at all the Pinterest images and health magazine models with bodies that aren’t attainable to the majority of the population. Nothing good ever comes from trying to compare myself to them and wonder why I can’t look like them. I’m not them, I’m me and that is just fine. I don’t have a six pack, but I can hold a plank for seven minutes and I know that my core is strong. That’s good enough. I can stop worrying about all the things I might not be doing perfectly for my health. I am a human being and I will never be perfect. That is good enough. I won’t compare the way I eat or how much I eat to other people’s diets. My body needs to be nourished in it’s own way and as long as I feel healthy and am getting adequate nutrition, I shouldn’t worry. That is good enough. I should be proud of all that I can do physically. So what if I can’t clean and jerk an 85 pound barbell or run a marathon in 3 hours? I can do a whole heck of a lot. I should be grateful that I have a body that can do so much. That is good enough.

My overall message for this post is that I, and you, are good enough. Yes, it’s tiring and a little frustrating that I still have to deal with body image issues. I wish that I didn’t have to deal with them and that like the weight I lost, they would just go away. But that’s not the reality of the situation. The reality is I will continue to work on my self image and I will continue to try and help others do the same. One day I know that I can get to the place of feeling totally comfortable in my beautiful skin. Until I reach that point, I will continue being positive and working hard. And that is good enough.

Staying Power

August 18, 2014 / ktbuchs87

There are many steps when it comes to leading a healthier lifestyle. First, you have to actually want to make that choice. No matter how many people tell you that you need to change, if you are not willing to change then nothing will happen. Then you have to figure out how you want to change, what you are going to do, and then actually put it into practice. Along the way there will be a million other little steps and choices that will make up your healthy journey. At many points during this process, it is very likely that you will be met with challenges and possibly even failure. I’ve talked about failure before and it doesn’t have to be your undoing. I’ve also talked about the desire as well as the motivation to change. Today, I want to talk about maintaining your choices for the long haul. What happens once you have done everything else and want to keep living healthy for the long haul?

It’s very common, and helpful, to have goals when you decide to start being healthy. Whether that is to exercise more, eat better, lose weight, or even just relax more, it is good to have something to work towards. Not many people plan for what they’re going to do once they reach that goal. For the longest time, I just wanted to lose weight. That was my ultimate goal. Some days I had a set amount that I wanted to lose, other times I just wanted to lose something. I never really thought about what would happen once I reached that goal, in part because I never seemed to reach that goal. I would lose a little, then gain it back. Start eating better, then quickly fall off the wagon. Get on an exercise schedule for a few weeks, then start making excuses to skip. The whole see saw of good and bad that a lot of people go through when they decide to be healthier. After years of the teeter-tottering back and forth, I finally got my act together and made the commitment, not to just lose weight, but to be healthier and feel good. After a good amount of dedication (and my fair share of sweat and tears), I reached that goal. I felt awesome and proud and… what do I do now?

I had focused for so long on the end prize that I never really thought about what to do after that. I knew that I couldn’t just go back to what I did before, a mistake that many people make. They think that once they get what they want they can just go back to living their “regular” lives. The problem with that logic is that often, their “regular” lives are what got them to unhealthy place that they were. Knowing that I couldn’t go back, I slowly began to realize that my lifestyle was forever, and that scared me. I began to panic and worry that I couldn’t keep this up for the rest of my life. Could I really keep myself healthy for the next month let alone the next 50 years? When you are working towards small goals, it doesn’t seem as daunting. That’s why it’s good to make small and manageable goals. You won’t feel overwhelmed by having to completely overhaul the way you eat if you just work to change a few meals a day. It doesn’t seem as scary to just lose 5 pounds in two weeks compared to losing 100 pounds total. But now that I had reached my goal, I had the seemingly big and scary goal of maintaining this for the rest of my life.

Maybe you have reached that point in your journey. You have managed all the little goals that have added up to your ultimate goal and you’re now faced with the unknown. What do you do now? Take a deep breath and don’t worry. Once I got over my initial panic, I started to think of how I could handle this new challenge. I thought of all that I had accomplished, and realized it was a lot. I could handle a lot of things, challenging things, and come out on top. I had just proven that to myself. I didn’t get healthier overnight, in fact it took a few years to get to a good place. If I could do that, surely I could handle the rest of my life. Building on that confidence, I also realized that I could still set small goals to work towards and not look at this new part of my journey as a huge chunk aka the rest of my life. I could still break it down into small and manageable pieces. My new goals would just look different than my other goals. Try new healthy meals, train for a longer race, buy one new workout DVD a month, there were still plenty of things to work for.

The truth is, if you want to be healthier and feel good, you’re going to have to be in it for the long haul. You can’t just decide to be healthy for a month and then expect to reap the benefits forever, that’s ridiculous. But you don’t have to be intimidated by forever. Continue to set goals for yourself. While the goal might not be to lose weight or start making healthier choices, there are still things for you to accomplish. Be empowered by the fact that you have reached a major goal and use that feeling to keep going. Journeys aren’t short things. They’re long and they’re lasting. Your health is a journey, one that I know you can excel and thrive at. Meet your challenges head on like you have from the beginning and you will do just fine.

Are You Projecting?

August 11, 2014 / ktbuchs87

My husband, Adam, and I went to Indianapolis this weekend to watch the DCI world championships. We’re both big band nerds and watching drum and bugle corps perform is something that we both love to do. We had about a five to six hour trip back home and long road trips are always a great time to talk about any and everything. One of the topics that came up was health, go figure. I tend to eat very differently from the way that most people eat. It can make it a bit tricky to go out with a big group of people, especially for someone like me who doesn’t like a spotlight shone on me.

I tried to explain to Adam why I get a little stressed out when I have to deal with a group outing that involves food. I don’t like to be an inconvenience to others and I always feel like the way I eat is a major inconvenience to the general public. Whenever someone asks, “Where should we eat?” I inwardly cringe. I know that the real question behind that is, “Where can Katie eat?”. As I got to think about this a little more though, is that really the question or is that just how I am perceiving others to feel? Am I projecting my own feelings onto them? The short answer, probably.

Do you find yourself doing this? You feel that how you choose to eat or workout or live your life is a little bit outside the general norm and that in turn puts the people you come into contact with off. It tends to bother me when people demand things be a certain way just to make their life easier. I totally understand that in some cases, people need to demand the way they eat for the sake of their health. Those who have Celiac’s disease HAVE to avoid gluten in every way possible or else there can be major medical complications. They deserve to have their food prepared in a way that is safe to them. Other people though have abused things like Celiac’s or lactose intolerance or other eating issues just as a way to lose a few pounds or because it is the fad of the moment. I am not here to debate whether this is right or not, I just know that I don’t want to contribute to the difficulties some face by having to eat a certain way for medical reasons. Because of my desire to avoid that issue, I realized that I am projecting my own feelings onto those around me without ever really knowing if that is how they truly feel.

When I think about it more, I am pretty positive that most people do not care that I eat differently. They probably do not feel overly burdened with trying to accommodate me. When they ask me what can or will I eat, they genuinely care about my answer and don’t think that I am being demanding or a spoiled brat. That is all in my head. As I told this to Adam on our ride home, his response was to just relax. Try not to worry so much about what other people are thinking. Because I am not a person who demands that things need to be a certain way or else I won’t participate, most people are happy and willing to help me out. I would imagine if you feel this way too, you might be overthinking the situation exactly like I did. Making the choice to be healthier and to eat in the way that makes you feel good and allows you to be happy is something that I fully support. Much to your surprise, your friends and family will feel that way too. As long as you aren’t throwing a temper tantrum if something isn’t exactly the way you need it or demanding that they do it your way or the highway, the people around you will be more than happy to work with you. And if you want some tips on how to help them accommodate you, check out this post.

Don’t project your own feelings and insecurities onto others, because like in my case, you’re probably wrong. Try to relax, enjoy time with your loved ones, and don’t worry about what people think. You will have a much better time, I promise!

Scenes From A Chicago Summer

August 8, 2014 / ktbuchs87

Even though I have lived in Chicago for about three months now, I still can’t believe it sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love this city, but if you had told me that one day I would live here, I would have laughed. If you had told me that I would absolutely love it, I would have thought you were crazy. But it’s true, I live in this beautiful city and I totally love every minute of it! I thought that today I would share the pictures I have taken these past few months. Some of them are from my runs along Lake Shore Drive, some of them are from my walks all over town, and some of them are from places Adam and I have gone this summer. These have been the scenes of my Chicago summer. Enjoy!

Lake Shore Runs

I am so incredibly blessed to be able to end all my runs right at the lake. Most days I get a beautiful sunrise, or waves crashing up onto the steps. It’s a really neat way to end my run and start my day.

Walks all over town

Everyday I try to get out for a walk. I have literally walked all over the place, seeing the sites, getting to know all the streets and shops, and seeing the things that this city has to offer.

View of downtown from Belmont Harbor

I literally live down the street from Wrigley. It is AWESOME. GO CUBBIES!

Random guy playing the marimba right across from Millenium Park. He was pretty good too!

Excuse my finger, but a pretty nice shot of the skyline other wise

Had to race a summer storm home on one of my walks

Super foggy day on the lake. It was eerie and cool

Things to do, people to see

There are literally thousands of things to do on any given day in Chicago. Adam and I have tried a few things out and love what this city has to offer!

Windy City Rib Fest. He was a happy boy

The aftermath of a 1/2 rack of ribs. He says it was worth it

Listening to a band at a street festival

More food. Enjoying an italian beef at Portillos. The boy loves his food

Kind of hard to see but that couple down by the lake just got engaged! I was a total creeper and clapped after the dude proposed. Sorry I’m not sorry!

Seriously, this summer has been amazing and I am beyond blessed to be able to live in Chicago. I can’t wait to see what else this town has in store for me!

Using Shame

July 28, 2014 / ktbuchs87

Have you heard of dog-shaming? The basic idea is that a dog will do something bad, like chew up a pair of shoes, and then the owner will write a snarky sign, put it in front of the dog, take a picture and then post it on the internet. It’s actually pretty funny and I have had my share of laughs over the ridiculous things that dogs do. There is a new trend going around though that I refuse to find funny and that is fat shaming.

I was listening to the news last week and heard that there was a facebook group started called fat shaming. It was based in California and people would post unflattering photos of overweight people on the group and then usually write hurtful comments along with the picture. Supposedly the group was shut down but then put back up and then shut down again. I have no clue what the current status of the group is and quite frankly I don’t care. My question is what were the people of the group trying to accomplish?

My first instinct was to believe that these people were just mean and hurtful and were trying to put others down to bring themselves up. The thought never crossed my mind that they were in any way trying to help these people better their health. Then I remembered hearing about a school a few months ago that was sending letters home to parents with overweight children, essentially doing the same thing just using nicer language. This school thought that it was doing the right thing to help those kids become healthier. Instead it sparked anger and outrage not only with the parents but the community as well. In my opinion this tactic should spark a little anger and outrage, because it really isn’t effective at all.

Think of the last time that someone made you feel ashamed about something. Think of feeling ashamed about a part of your personality. Did that feeling of shame make you want to get up and change? Did you feel thankful that someone pointed out your flaws in a possibly hurtful matter? I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say probably not. Using shame to make a person change their ways is not very helpful. In fact, it’s counterproductive in most cases and makes the shamed person fall even deeper into their bad habits. When it comes to health, if all you’re doing is telling someone that they’re fat or eat too much or look horrible in a bikini and should never wear one, you aren’t doing anything to help them make a change in their health. You’re breaking them down even more than they already are, and they’ll do the only things that they know how to do to cope. They’ll eat more food than they should, or sit on the couch all day instead of go for a walk, or maybe even put off a doctors visit because they don’t want one more person to make them feel bad about their health. Shame can exacerbate the problem.

It’s not just other people shaming someone that can cause problems. If you use shame on yourself, you’re doing just as much damage possibly more. Tearing yourself down will never get you to make positive changes and become healthier. All it does is make you feel hopeless. Believe me, for years I told myself I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t pretty enough, didn’t have the right body, wasn’t athletic. You know what all that negative talk did? Absolutely nothing good. I would talk myself out of trying things just because I didn’t want to further embarrass myself. I kept doing all the things that I knew weren’t good for my health, because there was no point in trying if it was always going to be this way. I told myself negative things and that resulted in a negative outlook on life and myself. Once I was finally able to realize that I am so much more than I thought, and once I started to talk to myself in a positive light, suddenly positive changes started to happen. It wasn’t easy and I definitely still have my days where I start to get down on myself, but things are so much better when I build myself up rather than tear myself down.

I don’t know if those who partcipate in fat shaming are coming from a place of concern and honestly believe that they are helping people. I don’t know if they are just doing it to be mean or they think it’s funny or they are trying to make themselves feel better. I do know that it is not helping even a little bit. In order to help those that are struggling with their health, we need to come at them from a place of compassion. We need to use positive tactics rather than negative ones. We need to offer support and encouragement and know when to back off and let them figure it out. These are the things that will bring about healthy change and a better life. Dog-shaming can be funny and merit a chuckle or two. Fat shaming is never funny and we all need to work on being more positive and less negative.